These are the signature quotes I use in my email and posts to Usenet. The unattributed quotes are original to me.

The plight at the end of the carpal tunnel may be an oncoming strain.

...and the computer replied "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus -- now."

When crimes are outlawed, only outlaws will commit crimes.

Come the Revolution, Comrade, you _will_ want to send a fax from the beach!

Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. 
Teach him how to fish, and you drive up the price of 
bait and tackle, and disrupt the local ecosystem.

Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. 
Teach him how to fish, and you can sell him equipment.

Fusion bombs have fission bombs installed there to ignite 'em,
And fission bombs have lesser bombs and so ad infinitum.
And fusion bombs themselves inflate the budgets that they grow on;
These budgets then grow greater still, and greater still, and so on.

In the future, everyone's web server will be down for fifteen minutes.

If you want a picture of the future of Usenet, 
imagine a foot stuck in a human mouth -- forever.

"The new wave is not value-added; it's garbage-subtracted."
                                          -- Esther Dyson

"Do you hear Lincoln turning over in his grave?  
 That's the Republican Revolution." -- The Foremen, "Hidden Agenda"

"Homer, the sea isn't wine-colored."  "D'oh!"

Information wants to be incorrectly formatted.

Information wants to be wrong.

"...it is significant that we are called the 'information society' -- 
 not the thinking society, not the deliberative society, not the society 
 of reason and rationality." -- Lloyd Morrisett

"My whole life is interactive, and that doesn't mean a lot 
 of it doesn't suck" -- Daniel Radosh 

"Oh my God!  They killed Kennedy!  You bastard!" 

Lies, damned lies, and web page hit counts.

"Microsoft via the genius of Bill Gates invented the mouse-windows user
 interface, reliable operating systems, affordable computing, and the Internet;
 if you don't think all that is true, ask someone who has never used a computer
 and whose only exposure to the industry is through mass media." 
                                                -- Philip Greenspun

If music be the food of love, then some of it be the Twinkies of 
dysfunctional relationships.

Go not to the Net for counsel, for it will say both "Me too!" and "Nazi!"

"The Internet is not a separate 'cyberspace' reality.  It is a new nervous
 system for the physical world." -- Phil Agre

"There will never be a technology that beats having lunch." -- Jakob Nielsen

"My television set told me that seventy to eighty percent 
 of the population now gets most of their information 
 about the world from their television set!" -- Crosley Bendix

Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards, 
for they are kludgy and can reformat your hard drive.

"Our greatest fear is that the Internet will become a vehicle of 
 free distribution of information."
      -- Ken Wasch, president of the Software Publishers Association