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Joke Chretien

Lyrics © 1993 Michael Rubin
Tune: "Jacques Chretien" (trad./Gordon R. Dickson)
Chords approximated by Eli Goldberg

Editor's Note: I'm giving you the first verse with the chords, as they appeared in Mike's text file, and then repeating it without them, which should be easier to read for those of you who don't need the chords. -- Avram Grumer

     C      F      C                 F        Em       G
They talk a lot of brotherhood, the faith of fighting men
     C            F   Am  C           F       Em     G   C
And how it was a crime to lose their Colonel Jacques Chretien.
      -           F     C                 F      Em     G
Well there was a war on at the time, and war's a bit unfair
     C              F     Am   C     F       Em  G   C
And this is how it really was 'cause no shit, I was there!

They talk a lot of brotherhood, the faith of fighting men,
And how it was a crime to lose their Colonel Jacques Chretien.
Well there was a war on at the time, and war's a bit unfair,
And this is how it really was 'cause no shit, I was there!

The Ninety-Seventh Infantry was stuck in Rochmont town,
Surrounded by some Helmuth scum who we could not pin down.
We hated all their Helmuth guts, but war's no reason why:
They'd shut us in for winter with a shipload of Dorsai.

Now the fancy lords of Rochmont kept the Dorsai in their pay,
And thought perhaps those boys should do some work to earn their way.
Their soldiers sallied bravely forth outnumbered ten to one,
Came back with zero casualties and said the job was done.

Why would that big expensive Helmuth army turn and run?
It's not as if they'd never seen a Dorsai with a gun.
The merest thought of bribery occurred to just a few;
Although it might be heresy, you can't beat two plus two.

Suspicion fell on Colonel Jacques who drank champagne by quarts;
A wad of Helmuth money was discovered in his shorts.
He wouldn't tell a court of law where all the rest was hid,
So he got hanged and some big brass on Dorsai flipped their lid.

Bright, bright the sun that morning rose upon the Helmuth plain,
And when the sun set in the west no street nor roof remained.
The cattle raped, the women burned, 'twas not a pretty sight;
The Ninety-Seventh had of course left town the previous night.

No more is there a Rochmont town because of Dorsai's vow;
It serves them right, they didn't pay their taxes anyhow.
They sing a lot of brotherhood, the faith of fighting men
But take a nice big grain of salt for "Colonel Jacques Chretien"!

Pigs & Fishes > Filks > Mike Rubin's Filks > Joke Chretien
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Contents ©1996-2018 Avram Grumer (avram@grumer.org)
Last updated: Wed, 31 Dec 1969, 04:00 PM EST