© 1991 Michael Rubin & Mike Browne -- for Philcon 1991
Tune: "Molly Malone"
A cop named O'Leary was hungry and weary,
So he stopped for a sub and a coffee to go.
But something was fishy, aroused his suspici-
On: that whitish powder was not Sweet & Low.
Was not Sweet & Low, was not Sweet & Low,
All things being Equal, that's not Sweet & Low.
He paid for his hoagie and put out his stogie,
Went out to the car, got on his radio.
While he called for some backup, the pushers they packed up,
Since they weren't as dumb as crooks on HBO.
...For the cops it was Showtime and not HBO.
Sgt. Evans had got there but more cops were not there,
When the crooks made a run for the subway below,
With their stash and their Uzis and a couple of floozies,
And who got shot where, just the coroners know.
...And who got shot where you do not want to know.
Now O'Leary and Evans are up in the heavens,
Giving tickets to angels for flyin' too low.
But the Meatball Connection's doing time in correction,
For dealing Heros and Heroin, here or to go.
For here or to go, for here or to go,
Dealing Heros and Heroin, make it to go.