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Contractors's Waltz

Lyrics: © 1985 by Michael Rubin.
Tune: "Witnesses' Waltz" by Leslie Fish.


Chorus:
Ten billion, twelve billion, fourteen and change,
They're testing new missiles down home on the range.
Nobody notes how we're raising our fee
To enjoy the largesse of the ol' D.O.D.

Come along Shlomo, Jose, and Hassan--
Though you're at peace now, things can always go wrong.
But if you buy from us you'll have no need to fear
That we sold the same bombs to your neighbors last year!

Chorus

Our fighter has guns, missiles, smart bombs and more,
Computers and E.C.M. radars galore.
It'll scare all the commies right out of the skies;
It's a third overweight, but who cares if it flies!

Chorus

As kind defense contractors, we'll quote the price
In quantity one, on this little device:
It's a ten-cent transistor to most random schmucks,
But this one is yours for just five hundred bucks!

Chorus

So let's go and lobby the Congress today;
With Reagan in office,* none stand in our way.
Our national security mission is clear:
More profit defending the last High Frontier!

Last Chorus:
Ten billion, twelve billion, fourteen and change,
With Star Wars, our missiles can head for Lagrange.
Up into orbit we're raising our fee...
This space has been paid for by your D.O.D.

Editor's Note: "With Reagan in office..." is, obviously, out of date. At the moment (October, 1995), I'd recommend substituting either "Clinton" or "Gingrich," depending on your political leanings. Consider this an incentive to vote for presidential candidates with two-syllable names (accent on first). -- Avram Grumer

Further note, August 21, 1996: I think "Bob Dole" also scans there.

Yet another note, January 4, 2000: "Al Gore" doesn't quite work, but "Bradley" and "Dubya" do.

Pigs & Fishes > Filks > Mike Rubin's Filks > Contractors's Waltz
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Contents ©1996-2018 Avram Grumer (avram@grumer.org)
Last updated: Wed, 31 Dec 1969, 04:00 PM EST